


Jump

by LeMera (Agha)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, just some fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agha/pseuds/LeMera
Summary: Bucky makes a slight miscalculation.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 232





	Jump

Usually, Sam would've been out of the plane already. He loved taking the jump, saluting Bucky as he leapt off the hangar into the clouds, his red wings spreading around him. But this time he just stood there, looking down on the clouds that were hiding the battle ground they were about to enter.  


"We're going to die, aren't we?" Bucky said quietly.  


"Nah, come on, it'll be fine!" Sam said, plastering on a smile. "I've got the shield, you've got your metallic pieces, it'll be all good."

Bucky smiled weakly. He was supposed to smile and laugh and go along, the way he usually did, and he would if it were just him. But it wasn't. It was Sam.

Sam, who he'd spent the past few months growing closer and closer to, caring for more and more. He went from not really giving a shit about who this weird bird-boy was to constantly thinking about him, worrying about him.

"You don't have to, you know," Bucky said. "We could just pack up and leave."

"And let a bunch of people die?"

"Sure! Why not?"

Sam smiled wryly, gazing out on the clouds once more. "Why not indeed."

"I don't think I can keep this position for much longer," the pilot shouted back at them. "It's now or never."

Sam tightened his hold on the shield, nodding. "On three, I suppose. One."

They'd go running together, at the crack of dawn, Sam complaining the whole time. Bucky pretended he hated it too, but really, he could think of no better way to start his day.

"Two."

Sometimes, when he'd doze off on the sofa, Sam would bring a blanket and drape it over him, and for just a few moments, his hands would linger. Over Bucky's arms, his chest, sometimes his cheek. Bucky dozed of more often than he needed.

"Thr-"

Bucky grabbed his face and kissed him. He did not know why the hell he did that other than the secure knowledge that this was it. They were never going to see each other again. So fuck it, he might as well.

Sam went still, probably out of shock. Bucky closed his eyes tightly, taking in the moment, the feeling of Sam's warm skin against his hands, both his bare one and the metal one. The touch of their lips, the smell of him, every part of him that he was touching. Then he let go.

"Three," Bucky said. And then they jumped.

*

They survived.

Of course they did. Bucky's life can never be easy.

He's pretty grateful for the fact that he's full of bullets afterwards and that he's forced to get medical help, because that means he won't have to face Sam. Yet.

But he will have to face Sam eventually. He'll have to face him and explain why the hell he did what he did, all these complicated feelings and the burning attraction and their friendship, as fragile as it might be, would be ruined. Sam would be kind about it, give him some nice speech about "it's not you, it's me", but at the end of the day, everything would be ruined.

He was tempted to make himself seem sicker just to stick around in medical, but unfortunately his vitals got better quickly and they needed the bed. Damn his super healing.

Sam caught him by the elevator.

"Hey," he said. "I was just going to come and visit you."

Bucky grunted, pressing the right number on the elevator.

"You good?"

"Fine."

"Hungry?"

Bucky paused. Waited. When Sam said nothing else, he admitted, "Yeah, kind of."

"Great." They stepped out of the elevator together. "What do robots eat, now again?"

Bucky couldn't help but let out an uncharacteristic snort. It was more out of relief than anything. Sam was acting like he always did. Like nothing had happened.

"And what do birds eat? Seeds? Wanna go find a small bird feeder at the park?"

Sam laughed. "Sure."

They got sandwiches and sat down at a bench in the park, watching the birds.

"What are they talking about?" Bucky ribbed him.

"One of them is asking the other what a handsome man like me is doing sitting next to your ugly face."

Bucky's laugh was stilted, even in his own ears. That one hit a bit too close to home.

Sam wrapped up what was left of his sandwich, putting it down. "Bucky..."

"Let's not," he pleaded. "Let's just eat our sandwiches and celebrate the fact that we're both alive despite clear intel that we shouldn't be."

"I'm just trying to understand. Why...?"

"We were going to die," Bucky interrupted. "Everyone thought so. Our gravestones were probably already picked out for us. I just thought I might as well, you know."

"Kiss me?"

He swallowed. "It could've been anyone," he lied. "If the pilot wasn't sitting so far away I would've kissed him instead. I just wanted to get one last one, you know?"

The lie was so blatant that he was surprised Sam didn't just say 'bullshit' straighta way. But Sam was a good guy. Too good for Bucky. He nodded, pretending that Bucky's rambling made sense, and let it go.

"I'm thirsty, I'll go get us something to drink," Sam said, jumping off the bench. "Gasoline, right?"

Bucky gave him the finger and he walked off, laughing to himself. Despite the relief that things seemed to be normal, a part of Bucky couldn't help but feel disappointed. He hadn't expected Sam to grab him back and confess his undying love for him, but... Yeah, okay, he had been hoping that.

He picked the sandwich bread to pieces and threw some out for the birds to snack on. Sam wasn't interested. He'd known that all along. Sam never looked at him that way, not even when he stepped out of the shower, half-naked and glistening (not that he'd done that a few times on purpose just to check). He never moved a muscle when their hands touched as they passed the shield between them. When he tucked Bucky in when he dozed off, his lingering touches were there for comfort rather than attraction.

When Sam returned he looked less jolly, his face serious. "Look, Buck, I tried but I'm sorry, I can't pretend like it's nothing."

Bucky's heart sank.

"I have to..."

Their phones both buzzed at the same time. Sam cursed under his breath, pulling his out.

"Another mission?" Bucky suggested, already on his feet.

"Yeah." Sam handed him his drink. "I guess we'll have to drink these on the way."

Similar scenario to all of their other times. They got briefed on the mission, got their tactical gear on, up on the plane that was taking them to the destination, the hangar door opening, ready for them to fly out. This time, Bucky was not very worried that they'd die. It was a standard mission, a thing they'd done million times before. He was in no way tempted to kiss Sam again.

Sam, on the other hand, had another idea.

"On three?" Bucky suggested.

"Sure. One, two." He grabbed Bucky by the neck and kissed him.

Bucky's brain went blank. He had no idea what to do with his body. Slowly, he melted into the kiss, into Sam, letting his eyes fall closed.

Sam pulled back, his hand slipping off his neck.

"Eh, that was," Bucky started, unsure how to finish.

"Super fucking confusing? A really messed up thing to do to a guy who's into you right before you jump into a life-or-death situation and he needs all of his focus in order to survive?" Sam put his glasses on. "Yeah, I know."

Then he jumped.


End file.
